Happy Friday! You deserve a moment to just think. Sip that coffee (or tea) and think therapeutic thoughts. Of course, that will be combined with aimless social app scrolling. If you are a part of the majority it will likely be Facebook. I have so many conflicting thoughts that I have about the app. Facebook. I joined the app in 2007. At 25, the app was the cool thing and everybody was doing it. MySpace was decaying, BlogSpot just came out, and this was a perfect opportunity to reconnect or stay connected – family and friends alike. We were moving past the “who I am online must be confidential” scare. Not every person was a stalker that was going to be a Hannibal Lecter.
The memories. I believe it used to be TimeHop, which would later be embedded as a regular feature. Some days that can shift my mood drastically. I mean, I am quite a bit different than I was in a large portion of the recent looks back. I imagine you may experience some of those things if you utilize that feature. My life, for instance, has flipped on itself. Lots of positive things and, oh yes, lots of changes from mistakes made. Opportunities for improvement as labeled in a professional setting. Often this moment takes me back in time mentally. I wade through the thoughts that I have associated with the time frame being shown. It is healthy though, I think.
At first, it was painful. Some days it still is – but it also can be spun up as a “look at who you are now.” Who I was… who I am… and what does the “will be” look like? Memories of the kids when they were little. Memories of my former marriage. All of the places lived, games played, chatting with friends or family and popular things at the time (I am thinking of the Shipped My Pants commercial as an example). I mean, that is the purpose of looking back right? When I post I am time-stamping some thought, picture or genius idea creating a timeline. (Yes they are all genius at the time of posting *cough*cough*cough.) The purpose of timelines is to show what happened/when and history is meant to guide us with lessons? Right? Regardless – look at your posts in the memories section on FB – who was that person?
Memories carry weight though. We often have memories that we cannot shake. We were friends with someone or a part of some circle then. Now, things may have changed and the groups or friends may not be relevant. Perhaps they are enemies now. And the funny thing is our virtual ability to be assertive with our feelings. Sometimes, even in a passive-aggressive sort of way. As an example, I want to share something that happened to me recently. Years ago I was married. Some activities that we did as a couple were associated with a couple of Facebook groups. Time passed and the marriage did not. Not that long ago, I joined a similar group since I still appreciate some of the same activities. Later, I found people posting sad and angry emoticons on things that I posted. Former group, group members, were reflecting on my prior relationship and disliked my current situations. Of course, people have the right to feel. To opinions. Yet, somehow in FB world we shortcut any common courtesies to confront a person directly. Public shaming is a real thing as well as over-the-top praise. When we put on a virtual mask and creed our posts, our photos, or feelings, we can make a desired and weighted view. We post all the good or all the bad. Balance can be difficult.
If you are on Facebook and have lots of “friends” it is likely that you know a person who posts all the time. Great and amazing pictures. So. Many. Fun-family-photos. Awesome vacations, promotion after promotion, the best dress items, new cars and lots of home remodeling. If we only looked at Facebook we could assume the person is a cast member on Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous with Robin Leach. Of course, every group seems to have the opposite example as well. The poster that hates life, has no friends, feels it necessary to vex, taunt, curse and everything (I mean everything) appears to be wrong. In between, there are the political paparazzi, meme junkies, and televangelists. Quit hating. I am not saying sharing your views is a bad thing. My argument is simply that one-sided-unbalanced-views are changing the rest of our perceptions. Our baseline has changed.
Sometimes it feels like we have sifted life and only see the results of the filtered product. Then, as if keeping up with the Jones’ we follow suit. We start to think about the best photos of the day’s event. Post. We had fun today! Post. Oh, how I love my shiny new… Post. Then like we were Jedi-mind-tricked, we are doing it too. Our small moment of celebrity-ism. Look at me. I often wonder if we have changed ourselves as a result of this trend. Do we feel more depressed with our seemingly sub-par lifestyle? Do we fall into retail-therapy as a result of our feed? Perhaps I am overthinking this topic. My mind does that at times. Wanders down a rabbit hole. “Hey, Alice… where are you?” Maybe my feelings of imposter syndrome or inadequacy caused me to post this. I need to write on my wall now…
Facebook is a great tool for communication. Aside from the extremes, it is awesome to be able to stay in touch, share memories, and support our friends as we are able while afar. Today, take a moment to look at your memories. Your timeline. Enjoy the reflection of who you were, are and how does that support who you want to be, or at least be seen as. Perspective is a big deal. What message are you sending?
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2 thoughts on “the facebook life”